Yes, my first real post back on this sucker will be about boys.
The thing that has been on my mind most for the last 24hours ahah.
I believe when I left the wonderful networking world of Xanga, I was kinda fallen for a close female friend of mine. Well, she actually told me that she had feelings for me back then too! Crazy is it not? However, neither of this admitted this until a few weeks ago. She is my best friend ever. And a lot of people think we are homo, or bi, for each other. Not that I would ever call myself bisexual. No, I prefer hetero-flexible. Too many teen-aged girls think they are cool for being bi.
ANYWAYS... to the boys<3
I like this one kid, a grade older than me. His name will be Yummy Autoshop Boy. He is amazingly good looking, to me. I told his best friend [J], who I adore, in a friends only way, that I like him. And now everyday, in autoshop J looks at the two of us and laughs and nudges my shoulder. What a whore. He was telling me I should so "get on that," which is beyond stupid. You aren't supposed to hook up with people you legitimately like. J told me that Yummy Autoshop Boy said on Friday, before I let J in the loop, that Yummy Autoshop Boy bet him two bucks that he could kiss me. That we "had a moment" on Friday before I left campus and he went to his drawing class.
I'm not sure how to take this. Half of me is like WTF! I am just a bet to this kid?!
The other half is like he said we had a moment and maybe he wants to win the bet because he likes me

Oh well, any advice my favorite networking site, Xanga<3, wants to give me will be greatly appreciated!


&& Now, I am going with him, J, and the best female friend I used to like to ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW Saturday. I am so exciteded!
I'm losing my RHPS Virginity.

Note: Descriptive material follows :D

Some back story...
I am pretty innocent. Never touched a drug or alcohol. Didn't kiss a guy till 2 months before I turned 15. Only kissed two boys in my life. Only had two boyfriends. My first "Boyfriend" if you call it that, was this guy S. I was head over fucking heels for this guy. Problem was, he, my best friend, was in love with my other best friend, E. E used to be the girl I wanted to be. That bitch went down the wrong road and is now a tweaking whore. [A story for another day] Anyway, we were together for a whole week. Yes, that is how lame I was. It was 8th grade. Last summer, I had my first kiss and second boyfriend. We made out, if you could call it that. It was disgusting. He had a fucking ice tongue. His hands just sat at his side. It was pathetic. He later told his friends I was a bad kisser. Like his opinion could bother me. He too was in love with E. A week before I got with boyfriend #2, S spent the night with me and E at her place. She passed out from some pain pills. He and I were lying on the couch. He had taken some ecstasy. We were holding each other, stroking each other, feeling each other. I turned my face to his. He knew what I wanted. I wanted his soft lips on mine. He knew I had never been kissed. He told me to stop. He was rolling; he was fucking buzzed from whisky and 40s. He sat up. He said "[My Name], your first kiss should be special. Not with some loser like me." I got up and lay on the floor. I couldn't lie there anymore. [This was summer 08]

Where it gets good...
Day after Thanksgiving 2008. No longer best friends with E or S. No feelings for him. Slight friendship with her. She invited me over for a little lame ass party. I said ok, seeing as to how I had no life. Well her and the guys [the only other people there were 5 guys], got out the booze, swishers, and Mary Jane. While they smoked, I sat and talked to my best guy friend, Kevin. When I came back, S was in my chair. I told him to get up; he said just to sit on his lap. He pulled me to his lap. He was my best friend for a year, I wasn't uncomfortable around him. Any other guy there I would have gotten up. Oh well. He kept teasing me saying I should smoke or drink. I never had any fun. I never take risks.
Eventually we all went inside. Eventually one of the 5 guys left. Eventually he and I were the only ones up. We were close together, having to share a smallish room with 4 other people. They were more spaced out, we were practically spooning. He got up said he had to take a pill. I thought it was some medication, some Tylenol, or something to knock him out. He came back and said he would be all over me in a few seconds. I asked him "Why the hell did you do that? You fucking idiot!" In a whisper, since the others were asleep. He came back, didn't answer me. He seemed normal to me. He told me it wasn't ecstasy, but something similar. Not knowing how strong it was, we just went on talking. I took his phone. Why? I have no idea. I wanted it for some stupid reason. After all it was past midnight. He stuck it in his pants. “I said fuck no man, I am not that easy to con into that shit.” We watched a little TV. His arms around me. It felt unintimately intimate. His body shook, like a shiver went up his spine. I looked at him. He pulled me closer. I felt his breath on mine. And I turned away. I told him that I didn't want to kiss him. He teased me again. He shook again. It was the ecstasy like pill that made him do it. He pulled me closer yet again. His hands on my hips. Slowly he raised them. Over my shirt, onto my stomach, he grazed my breasts and his hands were in my hair, down my back and he grabbed my ass. He pulled me onto him, using my ass as a handle. Half my weight was on him, half of it held up by my leg on the floor. He turned so he was on top of me. Hands slipping under my shirt and raising. His hand over my bra. He squeezed ever so slightly. I needed to keep this from getting to far. So I brought up other topics. I asked him why he and M, his last girl broke up. He made some crap excuse. His hands traveled to my pants. He unbuttoned the button. I breathed that they were to stay on. He obliged and reached his hand inside the back of my pants. He grabbed my ass. I told him that he must need water, after all that is how it is with ecstasy. We went downstairs. Got some water. E's mom was asleep down there. We didn't see her. The whole way downstairs he was right behind me. Holding a boob in each hand. Her mother turned in her sleep. He said "Yeah that’s right Mrs. A, I'm getting action and you’re not!" I elbowed him in the stomach to quiet him. He understood and whispered sorry in my ear. God, it made my heart flutter.
We grabbed water he told me we should go to the other room. The room E's mother said was mine back when we were best friends. I said no, that room was right next to her father's. He agreed waking up E's dad wasn't a good idea.
Half way up the stairs, I decided I wanted it. I wanted to allow myself to let that wall down. Or at least lower it part way. I sat on the stair pulled his hand to bring him down with me. He asked "Wha--" then smiled understanding what happened. He started kissing my neck, lower and lower. He tore off my worthless rag of a tube top. It was just adding space between out skins. His lips grazed my breasts. He lifted me up with one arm, and released my bra with the other. He looked at them for a second. I said "What? Never seen real ones?" He actually said "Not that big." I laughed as he brought his head down. His mouth played with them for a while and I began to pull his shirt up. I hear a noise from the room, the room we were supposed to be asleep in. I pulled my bra over my boobs; I pulled the tube top back on and tried to make it look like we weren't doing anything. He looked confused and asked what was wrong. I told him we needed to go back to the room. He said fine. We went back and he held me. He said he needed more water. We went back down and got some more. When we reentered the room he held me from going back in. I won’t lie, for some reason I was scared. He said “Let's go into the other room. We can have it to ourselves.” I looked up, trying to look confident, and said “I am stronger than you.” He said “I know I wasn’t going to force you, [my name]; you know I am not that kind of guy, right?” We lay in the room of his friends, my acquaintances. He didn’t really touch me. I asked him why. He said it didn’t feel safe in here.
I wanted more. He knew I did. We got up and went to the other room. He laid me down and got on his knees on top of me. Kissing me on the neck, pulling down my shirt, and releasing my bra all at the same time. We heard a noise and he jumped. After a second, I pushed his shoulder down and made it so I was on top of him. I pulled at his pants button, but being me, it wouldn’t come undone. I gave up and kissed his neck. He said something about how he knew I had this “wild side.” I laughed and within a moment, my lips were on his. First slowly, then his senses kicked in. He kissed back, faster, stronger. Finally, when I came up for air he said “Whoa.” I giggled. He continued, “[my name], you sure G was the only guy you kissed? That was amazing.” Brilliantly I replied, “That was nothing babe.” We laid there for minutes, hours, seconds; it felt like time had stopped for us.
His hands didn’t want to stay where I told him they were to stay. They tried to travel. I was constantly pulling them up. Then, I heard from the other room, his cell phone go off. No! It could wake up the others. I looked at him, instantly he knew what I wanted. He returned to the room to make sure that if the others were to wake, we wouldn’t be found alone together. I went to the bathroom to wash up, and then went down to get water.
When I returned, he kissed me quickly and lay in a seat far enough away that it didn’t look suspicious.
The next day, he didn’t remember any of it…